If you thought this was yet another article talking smack about millennials…you were right.

Wait tables? Too much talent for that. Get a real job? Too much pressure for that. Mommy and Daddy have coddled this generation into a complete sh*tshow. Our Politicians’ solution is to stick them in school for the rest of their adult lives. For free.

So, in fact, perhaps they ARE geniuses after all. No work, all play, and living off the fat of the land aka their parent’s basement. The unexplainable generation. Nobody seems to be able to clearly define what or who they are…scientists, scholars and experts have all tried but no one can come up with a precise answer to this burning universal question.

Who are these millennials? Are they undiscovered genius unicorns or mental and emotional handicaps? Either way, gasp, they are definitely responsible for our future. God help us all.

It seems a lot of college educated pros are totally confused as to why this new breed doesn’t seem to be motivated by apparently anything whatsoever. They simply do not want to work for praise, money or even prestige. Can’t say I really blame them for that…there’s no money to be had and they never had to work for praise or prestige before so why start now. Yes, I’m talking to you Mr. 10th place ribbon guy. Great job showing up that day buddy!

The best way to describe the Kardashian immediate-gratification-generation is that of I want it all and I want it right now. Nobody wants to work for it let alone wait another minute. It’s right f*cking now, bruh. This is why YouTube is so popular; People want overnight fame without putting forth any work, time or effort. Their parents have coddled them into a society of 10th place winners with an entitled attitude as positive reinforcement is permanent no matter how badly you fail.

Based on this concept they refuse to work for a living, especially for the going rate of 30 grand a year and I guess who could blame these entitled little sh*ts. They much prefer to live in their parents’ basement till they die off and inherit said basement.

Corporate America is having an extremely difficult time appealing to a generation of workers who simply have no interest in working for the man.

Our only saving grace at this point are the millennials’ younger brothers and sisters: Generation Z. Let’s hope to god those little a-holes aren’t looking up to their older siblings as role models. Otherwise we’re in for another several decades of Pokemon zombie-nerds protesting causes they’re completely clueless about.