I’ve done it again. Scared off yet another suitor with my texting inadequacies. What am I doing wrong??? I’m smart, funny, semi-successful, and super cute. But whenever my fingers get typing, its seems like hitting “Send” is what screws it all up. I’m afraid the only cure for my awful texting no-skills is to tie my fingers behind my back or pray for a cell phone apocalypse.
Basically I’m completely hopeless unless you have some miraculous advice…help me!
Dear Queen Clueless:
First of all you’re not clueless. You’re just a…wait for it…Female! We all have the urge to text our brains out but don’t worry because I have the fix for you, and all the other princesses of no-will-power when it comes to texting.
Yes, there is a formula and I suck at math, but it’s not hard to follow.
Less=More. That’s it. That is the mathematical equation to get a guy who is interested to answer more often, to text you first and to receive more than those “one word” responses.
Try it out; test it like it’s a science experiment. Send the “I am on my way to the gym or soul cycle with Sally” and then send another guy a text saying, “Going to gym.” The shorter response, I promise you, will receive a better answer time and time again.
Trust me, its annoying. Vent out your lengthy emotions and sentences to your best girl friends all day; however, guys don’t want to hear it and they sure AF won’t want to respond to it either. Think: the longer your test message, the less likely they will want to answer. Bottom line: keep it simple and act uninterested.
Once you reel them in say whatever you want; seriously, anything on your mind. Once you are dating you can say what you want, but don’t be that crazy girlfriend that nobody likes. Be that girlfriend that his guys like or you won’t stick around for too long.
You don’t need to talk every 5 seconds. You can wait to respond without thinking of an appropriate time span of “how long to wait” or even worse, not thinking at all and just typing whatever is on your mind. Unlike girls, guys really don’t think into every little detail so keep it seriously short and sweet.
Let us conquer together responding to the “let’s hang out text.” If it says let’s get dinner that is like receiving the golden ticket from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, just don’t sleep with him after. Agree to dinner but don’t act like your schedule is free whenever he is free. Make him plan around you and not the other way around.
Timing. Check the time that he is texting you. Don’t respond to booty calls or anything after 12pm unless you are mid conversation. Don’t go hang out with a guy at night unless you are just friends and seriously just planning on “hanging out.” Look for the texts before 5pm, during the daytime-those are the one’s that are interested.
With trial and error, you will learn how to keep a guy interested without scaring him off. It took a guy to literally text me “less is more” for it to click with me. He is long gone and an asshole you don’t want one of those.
Do you need some advice from resident expert Cara Zimmerman? Submit your questions via the Contact Us form for the chance to be featured in our “Ask Cara” expert advice column! All names will be changed for anonymity.