Dear Jessie,

My boyfriend wants a threesome. On one hand I’m curious to see how it could take our relationship to the next level. On the other hand, I’m scared to death that it could shatter the whole thing. There are SO many what if’s…what if I play along and then resent him forever? What if he dumps me for someone else if I don’t? What if it’s the best thing we could ever do for each other? What if it’s the worst?

Is saying yes the only way to find out?

Love,

Triple Threat

 

Dear Triple Threat:

There are only two choices I can suggest to you.

1. Yes- but only if you also want to have a threesome.

If the thought of having a threesome is something you also are curious about and are comfortable trying, then by all means agree to your boyfriend’s request. Be sure to talk out all details and options beforehand, like where and when it will be, who the third person will be, and the terms and conditions for what the actual sexual intercourse will entail.

Find someone that you are both comfortable with inviting into your sex lives, and make sure that all protection and safety points are checked- it would be unfortunate to get an STD from a rando you had a threesome with. The last thing you probably want is what Ross had in Friends where he was basically kicked out of the action. Though it was his idea, this should be something you can both enjoy!

2. No- if you do not want to have a threesome, then do not agree to one.

If you feel that agreeing to a three-way is the only way to save your relationship, then maybe this isn’t the best relationship for you to be in. Agreeing to certain sexual scenarios should not be the determining factor in whether a relationship sinks or floats. Say bye bye and find someone that accepts your sexual interests and doesn’t make you feel like you have to agree to, say a threesome, as the only way you’ll relationship will work out.

Whether you’re for the threesome or not, make sure that you’re being honest with yourself and you’re getting what you want out of the relationship. If not, then embrace the confidence to walk away.

 

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