Dear Cara,

Either I’m a terrible judge of character or I’m on a bad bff streak. They weren’t always this way but now it seems like my family thinks my squad is a bunch of losers. My family only wants what’s best for me but maybe I should ignore the haters? I don’t want to end up regretting not making more quality friends when I had the chance and right now I’m still in college. How do I make friends that aren’t losers?

Mayor of Loserville


Dear Mayor of Loserville:

First, what makes a friend a loser? Any friend that is good to you and loyal is a good friend. It should never matter how others view them as long as they treat you well and you have a healthy relationship.

My best advice is to only have friends who make you a better person because the people you hang out with will define you.  I believe our character is shaped by the people we surround ourselves with, the choices we make and how we treat others.

If your friends are making you a better person, then you should treasure them for life.

Friends, Enemies or Frenemies?

On the contrary, if you have frenemies who are influencing you to make bad choices or hurting your feelings, you should totally consider an upgrade. I would recommend you cut those types of “friends” out of your life. They were never really your friends to begin with.

To make successful friends you have to come off as friendly and most importantly, you have to be yourself. If you aren’t yourself you won’t make real connections, or at least not for the long haul. Don’t think about how others will view you. If you are “upgrading” your squad for the right reasons, then you are doing the right thing.

Real friends will become gems in your life, which will make you smile and only want the best for you. You will end up finding yourself growing as a person once you incorporate genuine people into your life.

I wish you the best of luck!


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