Dear Cara,

Recently I got a weird feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right between me and my boyfriend. It was around the same time I also noticed that my best friend was distancing herself from me. Turns out they cheated on me with each other. I’m so angry and sad and confused. I just want things to go back the way they used to be. Should I forgive them?

Betrayed Bae

 

Dear Betrayed Bae:

No.

That is not the kind of boyfriend or best friend you want to have. If they both loved you, they would not have done this to you to begin with.

Let me say it again. No. No relationship you have in your life, whether it is a friendship or more, should ever be allowed to hurt you and get away with it.

I see this all too often; A girl forgiving her friend and/or boyfriend. This is such a bad idea and sadly so common. In my opinion, neither of them is forgivable because they were both involved; therefore, both at fault. Don’t listen to their excuses. Don’t let them try to convince you that “it won’t happen again” because it will. They have already proven to you that it can.

Getting cheated on sucks

I know you are going to go through all sorts and stages of emotions. Anger, sadness, denial, the list goes on. My best advice to you is to not let your emotions get in the way of your decision.

Be the bigger person and know your worth. You are worth so much more than settling for a broken relationship built off lies or a friendship with zero trust. You are worth your weight in gold and you deserve to surround yourself with the same. The best revenge is happiness. So be happy, love yourself and ignore them. Those are two people you do not need in your life.

It’s not your fault they cheated on you

Remember, you are not at fault. If someone is going to cheat on you, they shouldn’t be a in a relationship to begin with.  So DO NOT let them try to blame you or tell you that you could have prevented this because. This had nothing to do with any of your actions. It was entirely your boyfriend and your best friend’s choice. They had the decision to do what they did- not you.

If you can’t be honest with each other or one of you is doing things behind the other’s back then what’s the point? The point of being in a relationship is to remain loyal to your significant other, just as any friendship would be.

Time is the answer to everything and in time you will heal and wonder why you were friends with either of them to begin with.

 

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