Hey Christian,

I’m getting to a point in my life where I’m actually seeing some success and I feel like my broke friends are holding me back. They never seem to have any money and I end up footing the bill for them everywhere we go. I just got promoted to assistant manager at t-mobile and they are still stuck in the high school days of smoking weed and living with their parents.

I feel kinda bad but I don’t think we have anything in common anymore as I need to be surrounded by people who are going to improve my lifestyle not downgrade it. How do I make rich friends so I can hang out with people who are actually doing something productive with their life besides getting high in front of 7-11 every weekend?

Hit me back,
JayBaller69

Dear JayBaller69:

I would start by saying be careful what you wish for. The richer your friends are the more you have to keep up with them unless they are frugal and cheap which is even worse.

Scrooge McDuck  Rich

There are two types of rich people. First, you have the Scrooge McDuck cheap AF ones who have all the money in the world but don’t spend a dime which is why they are rich in the first place. This person will never get the check and will always try to stick you with the bill. They are crafty and wary of people trying to get their grubby little hands on their fortune. The Scrooge McDucks of the world are mostly antisocial and have a lack of empathy for those at the bottom. They will use you for whatever benefit you can bring but will never be there for you when times get rough as they are quick to abandon the friendship at any sign of trouble. They are extremely selfish, self-absorbed and will expect you to be there for them even though they will avoid you like the plague if you ever need a favor.

Rich Kid of Instagram  Rich

The second type of rich is the flamboyant and over-the-top Rich Kids of Instagram type. This person is extremely vein. Their entire human existence rests on how they measure their wealth in society. They have a natural need to be better and richer and cooler than their counterparts. Some will tell you that money doesn’t matter or that it can’t buy happiness, but if they ever found themselves without it, life would be completely meaningless. Let’s say you actually make friends with one of these people. Then what? How will you hang out in the same circles and keep up with the extravagant lifestyle that costs a fortune to maintain?

They are going on wild shopping sprees and traveling the world spending an average person’s salary in one day. So it’s sort of tough making friends with the super rich because even when you do they will look down upon you if you can’t keep up with them financially or bring something to the table beside your friendship, which they usually buy in most cases anyway.

Many rich people feel uncomfortable with wealthier friends because they feel inadequate, especially when they can’t keep up with their richer friends’ spending habits. If you spend 25k on a weekend and you think you’re finally big time and then hang out with someone who spends 250k on the same weekend, you will feel like shit and enter a never ending cycle of keeping up with the joneses which will inevitably leave you bankrupt and alone.

Rich Friend Bait: Consider Yourself Warned

But that’s enough forewarnings. If you still really want to make rich friends just find out the most expensive spots in your area or nearest city and strike up a conversation with someone who looks like they have some scratch. The best approach is to usually compliment them on something: hair, outfit, or joke they made. (PS- laugh even if it isn’t funny as all of this will appeal to their ego and their sense of self importance which is what most look for.) Another way is to do your research online and see who’s spending big bucks or someone who comes from a wealthy family. You can usually tell by their photos what type of places they frequent, and that is where you need to be in order to meet the high society. You probably won’t be able to afford anything while you’re there so just pretend you fit right in and nurse that one drink as long as you can.

Lastly, the best strategy I can give you would be to reach out to a friend who’s close to someone rich or famous. If you look hard enough there is usually someone you know who knows somebody else with big money as the 1% likes to stay close to at least someone part of the lower class so they can justify any horrific day by comparing their own life to someone broke & miserable.

Overall, my best advise for you would be to make new friends that are on your same income level or slightly above so you can at least feel better about the company you keep. If you do come across a rich person keep them as a good connection if you ever need a favor or make them a mentor who may guide you in the right direction financially.

Happy hunting you human leech!

 

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