Dear Lili,

It took me years to finally find the perfect girl for me. She’s smart, funny and sexy as hell. We finally got engaged last month after a year of dating and I’ve never been happier. I’m good looking enough, stay in shape and have a great job. The only problem is that I don’t think I can satisfy her in the bedroom. She’s actually a virgin which means there’s even more pressure to perform on my end. I feel super insecure because she’s super hot and deserves to be satisfied in every way. I’ve dated plenty of girls who either needed a huge package or wanted me to please them for hours which I obviously couldn’t so it never worked out. How can I satisfy her sexually before she finds out that Im a total fraud and my junk doesn’t work like it “should” or do I just break up with her before the wedding for her sake?

60-Second Steve

 

Dear 60-Second Steve:

First things first, congratulations on finding your perfect girl! Secondly, you’re being too hard on yourself – no pun intended. There is no need to feel insecure just because women in the past made you feel that you weren’t good enough – that’s why it didn’t work out with them. You have to remember that she said “yes” for a reason, so don’t you dare break up with her before the wedding!

Your fiancée loves you and her being a virgin works in your favor. Since she has no precedence set for sexual encounters, then you set the bar and only have yourself to “compete” with when you go to satisfy her.

Ladies First

The name of the game is foreplay. Have you two been intimate in ways other than penetration? Studies have shown that a majority of women can’t achieve orgasm through penetration, but only through stimulation – that is what you should focus on when your goal is to satisfy. Here are some tips to try even before you have sex. (Spoiler alert, this is about to read like an erotic novel)

Suck and lick on her nipples while slowly caressing her inner thigh with your hands. Move back and forth from focusing on her breasts then go back to kissing her mouth, all without taking your hands off of her. Then move your lips slowly and kiss her, working your way down from her mouth all the way down to her inner thighs.

Satisfy Her From The Outside In

Tease her while you are down there, giving her pussy little licks and kissing her inner thigh. The key is to get her worked up so that once you go in and actually start eating her out, she goes crazy. Once you are down there, pay attention to how she moves and respond accordingly with your tongue.

Start fingering her pussy while you are licking her clit. If you can tell she likes that insert another and go faster. What’s important is paying attention to her body and her movements. You can definitely tell if she is or is not into what you are doing. Also, encourage her to tell you what she wants and have an open line of communication.

When it does come time for the main event, start slow and stop if you feel yourself getting too close. Also I’d recommend trying a condom to help with the sensitivity.

Half the battle here is getting out of your own head. It seems like you are too focused on not being able to satisfy her and you haven’t even tried yet. Don’t psych yourself out before the actual deed. Just remember that foreplay is key and don’t think too much about “being in the game.” No pressure to perform from either party is important. Enjoy each other’s bodies and company and soon enough you’ll know what the other likes and will be able to deliver.

 

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