Dear Karen,

I’m 30 & single. I’m freaking out! How do I find a guy who will settle down NOW?

Scared Single

 

Dear Scared Single:

Take a deep breath, and relax.

Repeat this step as many times as you need to…

First, being 30 and single does not mean you are forever doomed to live in Singleville, amongst all the old maids…30 is still young, sweetie. Now, with that in mind…

Why are you so desperate to settle down? Is it because it’s something you truly want, or because you think you’re getting too old and running out of time?

Beginning a relationship that ultimately leads to marriage is one of the most important life decisions you will ever make, and should be treated as such. Though cliche to say, you really can’t rush real love.

Single vs. Settle

If you’re just looking to pick a partner and get married for the sake of doing so, I’m willing to bet you can do that – just hop on Tinder and pick out a lucky guy…even if he scares off, there are more where he came from. You’re bound to find a single guy who is seeking the same thing you are.

But…

Settling out of fear of being alone and/or aging doesn’t sound super romantic to me. It’s safe to bet that a marriage based on such a shared outlook is likely to end in divorce. I’m sure you’d like to do your part in avoiding becoming a statistic.

So, what can you do when you’re scared of being single?

Your first step is to remind yourself how amazing you are – regardless of your age or relationship status. Fill your life with things you love & enjoy – friends and family, hobbies, a great job. Become so immersed in improving and fulfilling YOURSELF that you forget to focus on your empty left-hand ring finger.

Not only will you lose the desperation that is likely scaring potential boyfriends away, but you might unexpectedly meet someone when you decide to take a surf lesson or pop into that open mic at the local cafe.

Last but not least – have FUN. You’re only young once – live up the single life and enjoy. Love will find you at just the right time.

Good Luck!

 

Do you need some advice from resident expert Karen Lenore? Submit your questions via the Contact Us form for the chance to be featured in our “Ask Karen” expert advice column! All names will be changed for anonymity.