Dear Jessie,

I love my new boyfriend but his kids hate my guts. I don’t want to end up resenting him or them. Should I pack my bags?

Evil Stepmonster


Dear Evil Stepmonster:

The answer is no, do not pack your bags. Kids can be super mean but also super forgiving. The other answer is do not fill the role of the “evil stepmom” because you’ll age awfully and end up looking like the actual evil stepmom from Cinderella. The fact that your boyfriend introduced you to his kids indicates that he loves you and wants them to understand you are an important part of his life, one that will be there for a sufficient amount of time.

Kids Need More Role Models, Not More Moms

So, try to not necessarily be their mom, but their best friend. Depending on their age and gender, be someone they can go to to tell their secrets or problems, help them with relationship drama, even maybe buy them condoms or beer. It’s hard for me to pinpoint the reason for their hostility, but you also have to look at this from their side: it’s probably extremely complicated for kids to meet a new woman in their father’s life, especially if you’re the first.

If this continues and they still don’t like you, then it may be time to take on some different measures. Tell your boyfriend that you don’t want to be around the kids, and if he takes offense to this, then maybe it is time to pack your bags because you don’t deserve shit from step kid brats anyway.


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