Dear Myelle,

I’m crushing hard on the office intern. Should I make a move on my crush or would dating her be too risky for my career?

Office Crush Manager

 

Dear Office Crush Manager:

Dating anyone in the office is definitely risky. It’s better to keep your pants on and focus on your work rather than constantly wanting a quickie in the bathroom with every intern you have a crush on. Most women would consider any prolonged staring to be inappropriate in the work environment. So making a move on your crush without assurance of reciprocal intentions is ill advised. Be sure in your feelings, if it is lust you’re after, stop. Love though is a whole other beast.

If the vibe is mutual then the circumstance changes. You have to be absolutely sure that the intern has interest in you as well. This will not be an easy task. You have to consider her placement within the company. If she is only a seasonal intern, then a romantic relationship is less risky. Your career would not be threatened as much by acting on your crush, but you really should wait until her time with the company expires.

Your third concern should be her career. You can’t be selfish. If this job is her dream, her foot in the door or her consideration, refrain from advancement. You shouldn’t interfere with her career path, goals, and aspirations. If you are just looking for a quickie in the office, refrain from someone who is dedicated to their work (as you should be). But if it is clear that the intern has a sincere crush on you as well, has no interest in the workplace and her time is limited, then why not approach her after her internship is over. Then you’re both less at risk of suffering negative consequences.

If you can’t keep it in your pants, be aware that your work environment and dynamic will change. You will no longer feel the same comfort you do being there. There is a risk of your actions becoming public knowledge, no matter what promises were made to secrecy. If your boss found out you screwed the office intern, it will not look good for your career, especially if you have plans to advance.

All in all, office romances are a bad idea. Pursuing any woman in the office is a red flag. Even if your crush on her is sincere and innocent. It is crucial your interests are mutual or sexual harassment in the office could be a factor. That involves multiple officials, zero secrecy and your career would definitely be jeopardized. Definitely don’t assume an intern will get with you to advance herself within the company either. We are not living in a world where a woman can only advance in her career if she is f*cking the boss. If something goes down, the word always gets out and it could lead to terminating both jobs.

 

Do you need some advice from resident expert Myelle Lansat? Submit your questions via the Contact Us form for the chance to be featured in our “Ask Myelle” expert advice column! All names will be changed for anonymity.