Dear Myelle,

My girl left me and I feel like a worthless loser. Should I f*ck her friends to get revenge?

Revenge F*cker

 

Dear Revenge F*cker:

There are a few unavoidable moments in everyone’s sex life, the most harsh and inevitable being heartbreak. What separates the mature and the immature is the way we individually deal with heartbreak. Whatever the cause of the break-up, it should never devalue you as a person. Break-up culture needs to shift from Hollywood revenge seeking teenagers and more towards personal growth, learning, and adapting your life without your ex-lover.

Here’s the breakdown of revenge sex: it’s messy. If you plan on doing it, be warned that your actions will affect people beyond your break-up and that’s not fair to anyone, and only sets you back. Friendship and sex are extremely sacred. F*cking your ex’s friend(s) will only cause a chain reaction and your break-up will turn into a dragged out period of fights with your ex and every friend within her circle.

Revenge is a double-edged sword

Girls play the game, and they play dirty when revenge sex is in the picture. Your ex and company’s actions will be unpredictable. They will never let you forget your actions…would you forget it if it was your friend group and your ex?

There will be a full blown shit storm on your hands. Your ex will be enraged, a short success for the constant agitation it creates. Your phone will be blown up by texts, calls, etc. The conversations that follow will be prolonged and frustrating until every mistake is accounted for and you will be the one who ends up apologizing. Plus, what if she decides to take revenge out on you and f*ck one of YOUR friends…what then?

You can’t ignore the fact that you ruined a friendship and you will never have a chance to rebuild a relationship with your ex. The consequences of break-up sex are usually factors people ignore when determined to get revenge. But revenge is a destructive and seductive mistress, more detrimental than your break-up and will leave you feeling worse than you did being dumped.

Revenge Sex vs. Rebound Sex

You may move on, but there will be significant time spent cleaning up the mess you created. It would be better to find someone else to get on top of and have rebound sex instead of revenge sex. Show her what she is missing and that you are worth everything. Revenge is better served with success, not malicious and immature behavior that only causes more tension instead of healing.

When you find the right one, you will prove to your ex that you are not worthless or a loser, you are the controller of your own life. One break-up doesn’t define you as less, it shows you how much more you can be. Each break-up is a door being opened. Let things happen for their own reasons, even if you can’t see it at first. The only thing you should be focusing on is yourself after a break-up, not your ex. She doesn’t deserve anymore of the time and energy you already spent on her. You need you, you don’t need your ex.

 

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